the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
