She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
