i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
