i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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