His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize