His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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