I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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