this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
