Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
