perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
