You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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