how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
