It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
