Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize