Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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