I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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