Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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