so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize