Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
