I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
