Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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