I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
