you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
meet me or not, i'm out of control
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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