...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
