It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have aggressive nipples.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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