Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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