I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
