I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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