Cold hands, warm shart.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Randomize
