so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
