I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
