Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
