What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
