So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
