i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize