My brain says no but my pants say off.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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