our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
