The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
