Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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