Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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