Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize