so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
