Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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