She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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