I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
