After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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