I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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