The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So many bounce houses so little time
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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