I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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