Screwed.edu
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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