sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
