So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
