they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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