watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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