Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Is Oprah even human
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
