i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
