wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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