I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
