On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
