WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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