East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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