i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
