I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
