just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
