Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
